What is "Lady of Leosure?"

A not so interesting tale.....

For those who don't know me, my name is Analisa Six.

Yes, Six is my real last name I took when I married my husband Terry Six.

I will start this blog by being honest and frank. After the f*ckery of 2020 I just don't have the people pleasing energy anymore...(sorry not sorry if you catch my drift.) This blog is here for me to express myself openly and candidly.

While I want to practice mindfulness, I also am creating a space for myself to be open in the way I perceive my truth.

The way "Lady of Leosure" has come to be was after almost 3 grueling years of what felt like my entire sense of self had completely fallen apart after moving to the beautiful California high desert at the start of 2020. When we moved here I had no idea that the world was about to embark upon one of its most historical turning points in our lifetime. I had not planned my life around a global pandemic! I was freaking the f*ck out! Pretty sure I started cussing more since 2020 too.

After crying myself to sleep every night for what has felt like an eternity, I decided to do the only thing I knew how....get incredibly obsessive over my self expression and appearance and channel my depression back into an unhealthy need to shop for an entirely new identity through fashion and style.

I should preface this by saying that I spent the last half of my 20s getting my shit reallllly together. I quit smoking, drinking, doing all recreational drugs, I went back to being vegan, and started an extensive spiritual practice and deep dive into my own shadow work and healing journey. I was doing yoga almost daily, meditating regularly, reading self help books for at least 20-45 minutes a day. I started building credit and had a really great score! I even started a blog back then! It was called"The Bitchy Parrot." It's still on Wordpress, go find it! I had the blogger/vlogger dream even back then! Go figure, I can't keep my mouth shut long enough to be blog-Iess I guess.

I didn't realize that within my own spiritual awakening, I was also in line with the trends of 2016-2020. For some cosmic reason it seems my entire age group began rediscovering themselves through the arts of Tarot, Astrology, and Witchcraft. The last 5 years of my 20's would be my most transformative and magical years I have had in my life. I thought my early 30's would be even better.

Despite manifesting every hope, dream, and goal into my life I had set out for myself, my early 30's have been more of a bummer to say the least. I started a business that ended up being the wrong move for my life which resulted in my leaving it just as a soon as I had started it. My health took a turn and I have been unable to get a proper diagnoses and it has impacted my life terribly. Getting consistent work out here in the desert has been difficult for many reasons, and my beloved orange Jeep wrangler is on its way out leaving me carless for the time being. Despite getting to live in my dream home, my dream part of the world, and married to my dream man, I have been depressed and frustrated pretty much every day of my 30s. The advice I often found myself giving to others to help them out of this place was having little to no effect pulling me out of this funk. I started googling "what do you do when you have everything you want." And "how to be happy now that all of your goals have been met?" (There are literally no blogs about this btw.) I got sick of seeing content online that says how much better your life gets if you just work out all the time, drink green juice every day, quit drinking, and spend time outside. I literally do those things DAILY and NOTHING was making me feel better.

Laying awake at night wondering how I am going to pull myself back together had me trying to get to the root of who I am. And it finally hit me, I am being pushed into a "Lady of Leisure" lifestyle due to these health problems, and my inconsistent work that has forced me to rely on my husband. I found myself spending my days planning my outfits, rearranging my house, and actively cleaning and talking on the phone as a result of my mystery chronic illness that causes me to spend most of my time in bed tending to chronic pain and fatigue. I also found myself struggling to be ok with leaving my millennial "hustle" identity behind, and leaning into this slower paced life I was finding myself in.

One of these pain filled days, I was laying in bed and trying to find a way to reignite my creative fire, my ambition, my sense of self. I realized that I was incredibly inspired over the years by women who openly share their style, beauty/health tips, and seem to be content just living life in the moment. I want to be this person again, I want to embrace a slower paced, less is more, creative lifestyle. The silver lining of nothing in my life seeming to go the way I had hoped, is that it's opened me up to rethinking the way I view happiness, fulfillment, and success. I've spent so many years studying various modalities of spirituality, various self help concepts, and various belief systems towards fulfillment. At the end of the day, most of them tell you the same things. Happiness comes from within. But what does that really mean?

Let's unpack what it means to be a Leo. I was born on August 18th, 1989. I am one of the most stereotypical Leo's I know. Leo's are the 5th sign of the zodiac and rule the 5th house of the birth chart. Leo's are ruled by the Sun. The Sun is a star at the center of a galaxy. All of the other celestial bodies and planets revolve around that Sun. When someone is born a Leo, or a Leo rising, there is a large desire for acceptance and validation from others. We feel the energy of the Sun in a heightened way that gives us an inherit since of purpose. Delusions of grandeur are a guarantee for a Leo dominant person. We want to be successful, we want to bring joy, light, pleasure, and happiness to the world and we want to share it with the people we love the most. The 5th house that Leo rules in the birth chart represents where we express ourselves, how we connect romantically, our creative energy, as well as our inner child. It is how we play. Leo's want to be the star of whatever show in life they're starring in. When a Leo has no sense of purpose or sense of self, it is one of the worst feelings we can endure. We need to feel like we are of value in some way that is typically a bit over the top. Self expression is a priority for Leo individuals and doing it through performance, style, and romantic gestures is a must.

Getting back to my Leo creative energy is a must I feel on a deep intuitive level when it comes to healing the health issues I have been enduring in the recent years. Slowing down and minimizing the pressure to produce, getting back to my inner child, and learning what it means to "play" again is what I am currently invested in.

This is not a blog for the hustler, the person that wants to pile themselves with more work, more goals, more stuff. This is the blog of a woman in her early 30s who is at a cross roads, or what feels like more of a dead end, and is surrendering to the process of letting go and not having an agenda or plan for whats next. I've spent many years searching for my purpose, or how I personally can make the world a "better" place. But what does that even mean? Throughout my life I have found that the quote "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink" has resinated for me more over the recent years. There is no "one size fits all" formula to a happy life. It's up to us as individuals to make the world a better place, but what that "better" world looks like is different for literally everyone.

It's up to me, and only me, to make my bubble a place of positivity, love, and acceptance. No amount of money, working out, green juice, yoga, success, is going to do that for me. It's a decision I have to consciously make every day. To wake up and accept myself as I am, where I am, right here, right now. That does not mean I don't have to have goals, it just means that I am aware the accomplishment of those goals may not equate to fulfillment when it comes to how I feel.

While I am completely immersed in this elusive concept, I am still unsure of where this Leosure lifestyle is leading me to, but thats the point. Ladies of Leisure are not here to hustle. And a Lady of Leosure is here to create and express herself freely. While I know my current reality does not resinate for everyones current journey, and I also know I am in a weird place of having the privilege to take this time for myself, despite it being more of a hindrance related to health problems, I am trying to make the most of where I am at and with the things in my life that are still extremely good.

A little bit of personal history,

I started playing in punk rock bands at 11 years old, put out my first record when I was 12 years old, toured with multiple projects, was on Joan Jetts record label for a second, slang vintage and worked in retail in upper management for 10 years, went to cosmetology school, hated it, cut hair in my kitchen for 10 years, started a dog walking business, became a certified dog trainer, also became an Astrologer and certified Tarot reader under world famous feminist badass Vicki Noble. I am a home owner, property owner, cis gendered Chicana mixed race woman. I have been married for 10 years to the love of my life, self employed for almost a decade, blogger, and all around wild child that hates being told what to do.

I've been Cali sober since 12/29/2015. I didn't find my sobriety in a conventional way, and often find myself giving unconventional advice that weirdly works for a lot of people.

I am Vegan, mostly gluten free, and a proud dog mom of two fur babies.

Lady of Leosure is a place for me to express myself and offer any ounce of encouragement, wisdom, laughter, and validation to never give up, keep being yourself, follow your heart, and never stop LOVING. I look forward to seeing where this new platform for self expression takes me, and if you've already read this far, you must have some free time on your hands as well.